algorithm-driven pop often feels emotionally hollow, optimized for visibility rather than depth. this piece reflects on why warmth, restraint, and quiet intention now feel radical, and how Olivia Dean’s 'Man I Need' stands slightly out of alignment with the systems shaping modern music.

autism doesn’t always look the way people expect. for me, it shows up in routines, challenges, and small comforts that keep life steady. over time, I’ve learned how masking, sensitivity, and self-acceptance shape my everyday life and how being on the spectrum has become part of who I am.

Sometimes I wonder if anything I create really matters. What’s the point of making something that could disappear? Yet in that question, I’ve found quiet meaning, to keep building, learning, and creating, even if no one sees it. Because maybe the point isn’t to change the world, but to find light and share it, no matter how small.

i’ve spent much of my life fading away, whether it was quietly leaving rooms, letting texts go unanswered, or watching connections dissolve before they began. this piece reflects on that pattern of disappearing, the weight it carries, and the small anchors that keep me tethered, like the presence of my cats.