learning keeps me going.

There’s a version of college I used to picture, the one where students live in dorms, stay up late working on projects, and spend their whole lives focused on their education. That was never my reality. I work full-time, pay my own bills, and go to school when I can. I used to wish I could be the kind of student who only had to think about grades and friends, not rent and exhaustion.

But truthfully, I always knew that kind of college life wasn’t meant for me. Even when I was younger, I struggled to find my place socially. I didn’t expect to have that experience where everything falls into place, where school feels like a home away from home. What I have now is different, but I’m grateful for it. I’m glad I reached a point where I made myself move in this direction, where I chose to keep learning instead of giving up on it entirely. Over time, I’ve learned that the version of school I built for myself still matters. I didn’t go back for the experience. I went back because I believe in the value of learning.

While I enjoy gaining more knowledge, school has taught me more than just theory or information; it has also instilled in me a deeper understanding of the world. It has allowed me to learn how to manage my time better. It taught me to keep going without shame. Every class, assignment, or even the smallest step reminds me that I’m capable of rebuilding myself. From someone who once left school altogether, I used to feel like such a failure. I thought I wouldn’t continue with this life because there was no clear path or direction in which I could make a positive contribution. But each time I finish an assignment or pass a class, I know I’m moving in a direction where I’m actually accomplishing something. Not just for those around me, but for myself. Because I did this.

Being in school keeps my mind active in a way that feels familiar, almost like playing video games. When you’re fully engaged in a game, solving problems and noticing patterns, it gives your brain a sense of flow. Studying does something similar. It gives me structure, challenges me, and reminds me that I can still grow and improve. It’s never just about the degree for me, but rather keeping my mind awake and giving it something tangible to hold onto.

There’s real science behind that feeling. Studies show that individuals who continue learning throughout adulthood tend to maintain stronger cognitive flexibility and emotional balance. Structured learning strengthens neural connections, supports memory, and even protects mental health by creating a sense of progress and purpose. The brain’s reward systems react to learning the same way they do to gaming, lighting up the pathways that make you feel engaged and motivated.

When I was seventeen, I stopped playing video games because I thought they made me unproductive. I figured if I wanted a future, I had to quit anything that didn’t directly lead to success. But I see it differently now. Those moments of curiosity and focus were keeping my mind sharp, giving me small goals and a sense of rhythm. That’s part of maturing, realizing that stimulation and joy aren’t distractions; they’re fuel.

School is exhausting. Balancing it with work and mental health isn’t easy. But it gives me something to reach for, a reason to keep pushing even when life feels stuck. There’s comfort in knowing that I’m still learning, still open, still willing to grow. It gives me hope for a future where life feels stable, not just survivable.

I also think about how difficult it must be for people who go back to school while supporting a family or dealing with even less energy than I have. I admire them deeply. I know how hard this already feels and how much strength it takes just to keep showing up. The same goes for someone in their forties or fifties returning to college. It’s becoming more common at community colleges, and I think it’s incredible that many of them now offer bachelor’s degrees directly there. But in the past, when that wasn’t an option, I can only imagine how out of place it must have felt, especially before online education made it possible to finish a degree from home.

Seeing others take those paths reminds me that learning doesn’t belong to one age or one kind of person. It’s one of the few things that connects everyone: students, parents, workers, dreamers. Everyone deserves the chance to start again, no matter when or how.

It wasn’t the college experience I imagined, but it’s the one I chose to move forward with. And I’m proud of that.