media's impact of consent in interpersonal relationships.

Now more than ever, various media outlets influence how people communicate in relationships—including how they learn about sexual consent. You’ve probably heard phrases like “All girls are the same,” “Ugh, men only want me for my body,” or even memes like “No head?”—a joke that plays on exaggerated frustration over being denied sexual activity.

While often intended as humor, jokes like these can still reinforce entitlement to sex by framing rejection as unfair rather than a regular aspect of relationships. I can’t even count how many times I’ve seen phrases like these online—sometimes as jokes, sometimes as genuine complaints from the so-called “nice guys who finish last.”

This phrase is often used by men who feel entitled to romantic attention because of their gestures of kindness. Their generalized claim is that women choose more disrespectful partners over them—however, their mindset frames relationships as an obligated transaction rather than a genuine connection.

the reality of consent on college campuses.

Sexual consent involves words or actions that communicate agreement to sexual activity in a coercion-free environment. Many of us have learned about consent through multiple sources, offering various perspectives. Not everyone has taken Sexual Education classes in high school—and even for those who have, are they really taken seriously?

an ongoing issue across college campuses everywhere.

Comprehensive sex education has lifelong benefits that many students might not fully realize at the time. That is if they actually choose to pay attention. Other influences include our upbringing, past relationships, and the media we consume daily.

College-aged women face the highest risk of sexual assault, with as many as one in five experiencing it before graduation—one in five. Take a second to think about it. In the past decade, I have had multiple women confide in me about their experiences with sexual assault. I’ve experienced it myself, and it’s heartbreaking to know how many others have, too. The thought of anyone being taken advantage of breaks my heart.

Many don’t recognize the widespread issue this sort of issue is on college campuses. Yet, actions are often left without consequences because university policies on consensual sex rarely establish clear definitions of sexual assault and sexual consent. Addressing these ongoing problems through more consistent education and spreading awareness is crucial to creating safer environments where students understand what proper consent looks like.

Studies analyzing how students define consent highlight five key themes: permission, agreement, willingness, wanted-ness, and contextual elements. While each theme stood out to me in its own way, wanted-ness would be the most important. Just because one agrees to something doesn’t mean they truly want it.

how media shapes perceptions of consent.

Discussions about consent in social media often stem from how it’s portrayed in popular television shows and movies. But beyond online conversations, media itself plays a significant role in shaping how people understand consent.

Two psychological theories help explain this influence:

• Cultivation Theory suggests that repeated exposure to media influences how people perceive reality, shaping expectations about relationships and consent.

• Social Cognitive Theory explains how individuals learn behaviors by observing and imitating what they see in media, including depictions of power dynamics and consent in relationships.

  
  

Many young adults turn to television, movies, and online content to fill the gaps left by formal sex education. However, without clear communication and education, these portrayals lead to misunderstandings about what constitutes consensual versus non-consensual situations.

social media’s role in consent discussions.

Social media has become one of the most influential platforms for discussing consent, expanding conversations beyond traditional media. Researcher Cristina Pulido and her team at the Autonomous University of Barcelona analyzed online conversations to understand how audiences react to portrayals of sexual consent in popular media. Their study focused on shows and movies like 13 Reasons Why, After, Sex Education, and You.

By studying discussions on Twitter (now X), Reddit, and Instagram over ten years, they found that many people interpret and express consent through nonverbal or implicit verbal cues rather than explicit verbal confirmation. The findings revealed that some women avoid giving clear verbal consent due to concerns about “ruining the mood.” This hesitation is often reinforced in movies and television, where implicit consent is normalized and explicit verbal consent is rarely depicted.

the role of media in normalizing unhealthy dynamics.

Multiple generations have consumed media where the lines are blurred between romance and control, sometimes in unhealthy ways. A prime example is The Twilight Saga, written by award-winning author Stephenie Meyer, where possessiveness is romanticized, and verbal consent is often overlooked.

Based on the fundamentals of Cultivation Theory, repeated exposure to Twilight’s portrayal of romance reinforces the idea that controlling behavior and a lack of verbal consent are acceptable, even desirable, in relationships. But Edward’s controlling behavior goes beyond just watching Bella sleep. He follows her outside of Forks, intrudes on her public confrontations, and even shuts off her truck to prevent her from communicating with his love rival. Instead of viewing these as red flags, some see them as part of his devotion to her.

Despite all of it being fictional, the intimacy in Bella and Edward’s relationship causes concerns for many reasons. When Bella introduces the idea of physical intimacy with Edward, he retracts to avoid communicating his boundaries. Early on, Edward is stubborn, reserved, and protective in nature. He would prefer to withdraw instead of discussing how he feels. As the vampire love story progresses, their intimacy remains reliant on those nonverbal cues. While some viewers recognize their overall problematic dynamic, others disregard and set new expectations for their future partner. Those expectations affect real-world relationships, especially within the context of modern hookup culture.

the influence of hookup culture and gender norms.

Despite the rise of major progressive events like the #MeToo Movement in 2020, traditional gender roles continue to influence the way dating culture operates. The United States of America has a foundation of centuries-old gender norms, where men are expected to pursue sex, while women set their boundaries. As a result, these expectations can lead to misinterpretations throughout a variety of unique social interactions.

From rom-coms that push lead characters who pursue love, to music that objectifies women, the media around us continues to reinforce the idea that men should be persistent while women should play hard to get. On-screen characters poorly translate to generalizations when, in reality, they encourage coercion and unwanted advances. This doesn’t even take into consideration the number of challenges those in the LGBTQ+ community face, where traditional narratives often fail to acknowledge or accurately represent their experiences.

shifting toward a better understanding of consent.

In order to understand how media defines consent, we first need to examine its entire portrayal of interpersonal relationships. The various formats consumed daily by millions, if not billions, don’t just entertain viewers. They shape how we view love, intimacy, and boundaries, which influence our real-world attitudes and behaviors.

While representation has improved in recent years, we still have a long way to go to ensure that voices are heard instead of dismissed. With the shift of focus toward building a new foundation, I look forward to a future where everyone has the opportunity to experience the respect and comfort they deserve. Every small step creates a lasting change, and taking action makes more of a difference than you’d think.

The media around us is a powerful tool with the capability to reshape how we view and practice consent. Imagine if the effort was made where open discussions are led. There would be a significant difference in representation with healthy boundaries.

How do you think the media can improve the culture of consent in interpersonal relationships? Consent should always be clear—whether in fiction or real life.

resources.

Bednarchik, L. A., Generous, M. A., & Mongeau, P. (2022). Defining Sexual Consent: 

Perspectives from a College Student Population. Communication Reports, 35(1), 12–24.

https://doi-org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1080/08934215.2021.1974506

Beres, M. (2010). Sexual miscommunication? Untangling assumptions about sexual

communication between casual sex partners. Culture health & sexuality, 12(1), 1–14.

https://doi.org/10.1080/13691050903075226.

Boot, I., Peter, J., & van Oosten, J. M. F. (2014). Impersonal Sex Orientation and Multitasking. Influence the Effect of Sexual Media Content on Involvement With a Sexual Character. Media Psychology, 17(1), 55–77. https://doi-org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1080/15213269.2012.742358

Gronert, N. M. (2022). Using popular media portrayals to investigate undergraduates’ perceptions of sexual consent. Gender & Education, 34(6), 643–658.

https://doi-org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1080/09540253.2022.2027887

Pulido, C., Cañaveras, P., Redondo-Sama, G., & Villarejo-Carballlido, B. (2023). Do People Comment on Social Networks About Sexual Consent in TV Series? Rethinking Consent (or not) in Real Situations: Contributions from Debates in Social Media. Sexuality & Culture, 1–23. https://doi-org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1007/s12119-023-10115-w

Willis, M., Blunt-Vinti, H. D., & Jozkowski, K. N. (2019). Associations between internal and external sexual consent in a diverse national sample of women. Personality and

Individual Differences, 149, 37–45. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2019.05.029.