the pain of trying: a reflection on friendship.

Friendship is a dark comedy about Craig Waterman (Tim Robinson), a socially awkward marketing executive who yearns to be friends with his neighbor, Austin Carmichael (Paul Rudd), a charismatic yet unfulfilled weatherman.

Spoiler warning: This reflection includes detailed plot points from Friendship (2025), including key moments and the ending.

a breath of fresh air in comedy.

Friendship, starring Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd, dropped nationwide in the U.S. at the end of May 2025. While I hadn’t heard of this movie until its limited release a few weeks prior, it immediately caught my attention, especially since comedies have been relatively absent in the past decade. While many movies incorporate comedic elements, we haven’t had a truly bold comedy film in theaters for a while. So, getting to experience Friendship in the theater felt like a breath of fresh air. Despite my love for many aspects of the film, a large part of it felt like I was sitting in on a therapy session I hadn’t signed up for. I didn’t just see Craig’s awkwardness and desperation. I felt it.

watching craig’s struggles mirror my own.

Was it from knowing what it’s like to be the odd one out? To feel the weight of wanting connection but not knowing how to show it? As the movie unfolded, I found myself wondering if I’m like Craig. Do I come across as a narcissist, too absorbed in my desire to connect to notice the signals others send? Or is it just the messy nature of being human, caring deeply but imperfectly? I don’t have an answer; I know the pain of trying to be better to no avail. A pain that feels unnecessary yet inevitable.

the weight of what-ifs.

Throughout the movie, I found myself nodding along with scenes that felt like what-ifs. Moments where things could have gone right. Watching Craig’s perspective, his clumsy loyalty and genuine desire to be there for someone made me think about how many of us struggle to express care in ways others will recognize and accept. I’ve had similar thoughts myself, often replaying situations in my head, imagining how things might have turned out differently if I’d spoken up, if I’d been less awkward, or if others had been more understanding of my internal struggle.

Even outside of loyalty or friendship, these thoughts of belonging follow me. While running solo errands on a Sunday morning, I blasted “Live in My Truth” by SOPHIE, featuring BC Kingdom and LIZ. Everything about this track paints a vision of what it could feel like to be a likable addition at a social gathering, where people are genuinely excited to see me and go out of their way to greet me with a smile. I imagine myself confidently dancing, for once, not looking like a goofball trying to fit in. But then I remember that, in reality, anywhere I’m part of will go on the same without me there. These fleeting moments of hope always seem to crash into reality, just like Craig’s imagined connections that inevitably end in loneliness and rejection. Even though he sees himself as the “lone wolf,” deep down, he just wants to be accepted.

an awkward attempt to connect.

There’s a scene in Friendship (you can watch it here) that perfectly captures how I feel in adult friend groups. Craig’s attempt to connect is so awkward it makes you feel bad for him. Then comes the next scene, where his actions justify why he’s kicked out almost immediately. It’s clear Friendship intends to exaggerate, which is completely fine given the genre of film it identifies with. Moments like these allowed me to step back into reality. Because I’m pretty confident if I were in the scenario where I accidentally knocked out a new friend I admire, I wouldn’t respond with “I’ve been a bad boy!” while shoving a whole bar of soap into my mouth. This scene genuinely had me cringing so hard from embarrassment I mostly came back to my senses. It was worse than even Scott’s Tots from The Office (if you know, you know). But despite Craig’s constant attempt to connect being so awkward it makes you want to turn away, sometimes you can’t help feeling for him. It’s that mix of “I know this is painful, but I’ve been there too” that really resonated with me.

family tension and emotional barriers.

Later in the film, Craig invites a group of his coworkers to Guys Night in his garage. His interaction with the four men felt painfully familiar; when you want so badly to believe you’re accepted, only to discover you were an outsider all along. I kept thinking of brief moments throughout my years of high school when I would play Xbox Live with students I felt saw me as their friends. For a while, I convinced myself that there was real friendship, and maybe they liked me. But eventually, it became clear they just mocked me. It’s that feeling of reaching out, trying to belong, only to realize you were never really part of the group.

But Craig’s problem goes deeper than that. It would be easy to feel sympathy if he wasn’t so self-absorbed from the start of the film. While he doesn’t show attention to any other women, Craig’s not a good husband to Tami and ignores her needs while focusing all of his attention on his new neighbor, Austin Carmichael. In the opening scene, Tami discusses her hardships past beating cancer. One thing she mentions is how she doesn’t orgasm. His response? “I’m orgasming just fine.” While it is not confirmed, multiple hints indicate Tami is having an affair with her ex-boyfriend, Devon. Although cheating isn’t excused, it’s clear Tami feels neglected and is seeking attention elsewhere, a dynamic that unfortunately plays out in many marriages.

Adding to their family tension is Steven, their teenage son, who has a noticeably closer relationship with Tami, such as how they kiss on the lips. Craig tries to connect with Steven, including talking about his relationships at school, but Steven’s responses remain distant and reserved. He even calls Craig by his first name, which emphasizes their emotional disconnect. While the film doesn’t explicitly confirm whether or not Craig is Steven’s biological father, there are clear hints suggesting that this is one of the significant barriers preventing Craig from truly bonding with his family and contributing to his struggle to connect on a deeper level.

a desperate pattern.

It is not just Craig’s marriage but all of his relationships that seem transactional, as if he believes he’s owed kindness and acceptance. There’s a scene where Craig’s isolation reaches a point where he pays a mobile store employee to lick a frog and get high to escape reality and forget his failures. His hallucination begins when he walks into a Subway and orders a foot-long from an aged Austin. However, Craig wakes up before he receives his sandwich, leaving him annoyed. “That frog ripped me off.” It’s hilariously absurd, continuing to show how he never shies from his narcissistic tendencies. But it also shows Craig’s desperation to be seen.

When Tami has a housewarming party after surviving being lost in the sewer for days, Craig tries to get credit for her popularity by pointing out it was his idea to bring her down there in the first place. Throughout the movie, he returns packages that were meant for Austin but were sent to his house. Thinking these gestures will earn him points, maybe even friendship. It’s a pattern of trying too hard but not understanding what a real connection looks like.

the climactic confrontation.

This pattern of Craig’s desperate attempts to connect builds steadily throughout the film, culminating in the climactic confrontation. At the end of the film, Craig crashes a gathering at Austin’s house after noticing he purchased a vehicle Austin had earlier said Craig would be the first to ride in. Craig is desperate to restore their friendship, despite it being beyond repair. The confrontation is chaotic and heartbreaking as we see how much Craig’s mental state has deteriorated. For a moment, I thought Craig might actually get a second chance...well, until he pulled out a pistol and started aiming at everyone. Then we’re given a glimpse of Craig’s vision, where everyone leaves Austin’s house on good terms, and he’s finally accepted. But we’re quickly snapped back to reality, where Craig sits in the back of a police car. It wraps up the film not only by addressing Craig’s inability to find healthier ways to navigate his social relationships but also by revealing the consequences of his actions.

austin’s side of the story.

Another aspect worth examining is Austin’s perspective. While we don’t get the same insight into Austin’s behavior as we do with Craig, Friendship gradually gives us a clearer picture of who he is. Austin isn’t flawless by any means, but he comes across as a genuinely affable guy. Initially, he seems to appreciate Craig’s attempts at friendship. However, between the fiasco at Austin’s house and Craig’s intrusive behavior, Austin becomes visibly uncomfortable.

While the film doesn’t deeply explore Austin’s inner self, it hints at the dissatisfaction he faces as a weatherman. At first, he’s excited by the move from his night slot to the morning, but he quickly realizes the increased pressure in his new role leaves him more stressed than satisfied.

These challenges are something Craig doesn’t seem to take into account when he oversteps boundaries, like showing up uninvited at Austin’s morning job or even breaking into his house. Austin’s struggle shows us how people face unspoken pressures and stressors that aren’t immediately visible. While Craig is so focused on his own desperation for connection, he overlooks that Austin himself might be dealing with his own loneliness, pressure, and the weight of expectations. Friendship dives into how the desire for connection can lead individuals to overstep boundaries, often without acknowledging the emotional challenges others may be dealing with.

the reflection of friendship.

This tension is underscored in one of Friendship’s most surreal moments when Austin’s friend group bursts into a spontaneous rendition of “My Boo” by Ghost Town DJs. As The Guardian points out, this scene feels like a fantasy of friendship, something warm and encouraging. It’s something many men like me don’t get to experience. I saw that moment and couldn’t help but think of those hypothetical outcomes again, where things could have gone better.

the quiet resilience of trying.

In the end, Friendship left me with mixed emotions. There’s a sadness in realizing how easy it is to be misunderstood and rejected, even when your heart’s in the right place. Others only see their own perspective, so we can’t expect them to instantly recognize how much we’re trying. While it can hurt to keep trying, there’s a quiet resilience to doing so. It’s not just people like Craig or me who struggle with friendship during adulthood. Unfortunately, this is something many adults face. I don’t have any solutions, but maybe a film like this can offer a new perspective on how others are doing their best. Sometimes, we just want a friend, and that’s all we really need.